Sweet love.. so fairy tale.. yet so real..
-={INTRODUCTION}=-
When I was a teenager, I didn't believe in fate at all, not even when I matured and turned 19 years old. I just simply didn't believe, I thought those who believed in fate were silly, silly to believe in a myth. My heart always tells me that I will control my own path, my own beliefs.
All those years, I never had a chance to taste the feeling of being loved, to love and the rich lovely feeling of being in a relationship. I envy my friends who had girlfriends, able to have their company when they are feeling lonely and blue. To me, I preferred to be alone, be in a quiet place listening to soothing music that suits my mood.
I may do well in a lot of things, studies, lending a listening ear to people, care for people. When it comes to my own love life, I am a total failure, no reasons, no courage and no confidence. I just don't know why.I do not know why I keep emphasizing on this issue "love". It just occurs to me.
Everyone wishes to love someone in his or her own hearts, be it secretly in love or be with that particular person, he or she will just give unconditionally, just to make that person happy.
I started to believe a little in fate when my friend told me that some guys are just blessed with having girls around them. I agreed with him. It is true, really very true. I hope that I have that kind of blessed life too, but I don't.Just when I was really wailing in despair alone in the darkness, my words touched heaven. It finally understood my feelings, the loneliness built up in me. My very own fairytale began.
-={ENCOUNTER}=-
Deadline is just another month away. I couldn't believe I am working so hard together with my group to complete our final year project in time. One day, my friend Iris said she wanted to introduce a girl to me. I thought I might have heard wrongly. Though I joked with her everytime that I needed her to introduce me a girl, I didn't expect that she'll take it real. The girl was a year two student, same course as I was and taking the same option too! Iris told me I will definitely like her. I asked her why, she told me the simplest reason of all, because she is suitable for me.
At that point of time, I really thought I might get lucky in my love life, though I did not pin much hopes on it. I am a pessimistic person. I went up floor from my lab 2023 to 2036 with two of my group mates to find her. Not to chat her up, but to just steal a glance of how she looked. Heaven must be making a fool of me, she left the lab, leaving me with no chance at all.
If that wasn't enough, heaven was cruel to me again the second time. I went up alone this time, the disappointment is greater but I learnt to cope with it. Just not blessed.
Birds always chirped happily in the morning at Commonwealth bus stop. It was a usual sight, with people hassling past to the train station. I was lucky to find a seat on 147. I sat and saw a girl standing in front of me. I did not know the reason why I kept looking at her. I didn't even know her. She just attracts me. It is a feeling that I can neither write it down nor describe. I looked at her again, but when she took a glance in my direction, I quickly looked elsewhere just to ensure that she did not noticed that I am looking at her. When I decided to look at her again and lifted up my head to look, it was the first time our eyes met. She looked at me too. I quickly look elsewhere again.
I hadn't had many surprises in my whole life. This one was one however. She alighted at the bus stop in front of my department. I thought she might be a student from business or maybe multimedia or maybe IT too. I walked behind her when we were entering the gates. At that time I really wished that I could just go up to her and introduce myself. I couldn't, I hadn't an idea on how to go about doing it. I was not my own jovial self that morning. She just ran all around my mind.
It couldn't be better to have a hearty lunch after slogging so much at project. I walked down the corridor at the 2nd level of my block towards the food court. The second surprise of the day came, I couldn't believe that she was walking up the corridor! My heart thumped and filled with excitement but I try to contain myself to act as normal. Our eyes met the second time when she walked past me. I stopped in my tracks and turned round to look at her. She entered one of the labs of my department! I walk back with much haste to the outside of the lab to check out the lab schedules for classes to find out which class she was from.
She was from class 2B25, same course as I was, same option too. I peeped into the small glass panel of the lab door and saw her. I must have liked her, the first ever time I ever did such a thing and had such an indescribable feeling.
I told all my friends at lunch about her and my story in the morning. They laughed at me. They must have thought I am nuts. Maybe the most felt reason is that they wouldn't believe anything would come out of it. So do I.
I hated marketing module. I disliked business courses though I knew it would be useful to me in future. Anyway, that's the reason why I chose business marketing as my elective. I was having marketing tutorial after lunch. Iris was taking that module as her elective too. I was known for either sleeping in class or chattering away. This time, I was chatting with Iris. I told her about everything that happened today. I told her everything, her looks, her class, how and where I saw her, everything. The third surprise came when she told me the colour of the top she was wearing and the highlighted colour of her hair.
She was the girl Iris wanted to introduce to me all along. I was so surprised. Suddenly at that point of time, I thought it must be fate, and I believed it. Her name is Xiuhui, Joyce. Gee, I knew her name! Iris wanted to create a chance for me to know her in pretense of passing her some things after our tutorial. I would follow along and she'll introduce me to her.
Heaven decided to do a final test on my peserverence. She was already out of school when Iris called her after our tutorial. No chance, no whatsoever left. I was disappointed. Iris wanted to give me her mobile phone number. I was hesitant at first because I thought this is a really very insincere way to make friends with her. Moreover, I did not attempt such a thing before in my whole life. Nevertheless, I got the number from Iris.
I was alone on my way home from Clementi train station. I stood on the train throughout the whole journey back to my train stop, which is some forty-five minute ride. I did not know how to start out messaging her, I kept typing, clear, typed again. I typed a lot of messages that I wanted to send to her. I did not send in the end because I was afraid. I finally muster up all my courage and sent her a "hi hi" message when I reached my train stop.
She replied immediately, asked whether I am Daniel. I knew that Iris had already told her about me. We messaged each other a lot that day during night time. I told her I knew who she was, however, she did not know who I was at that time. I told her all the events that occurred in the day, how and when I saw her, hoping she would remember me.
I didn't expect that she'll call me, but she did. I pick up the call and we chatted throughout the night till 4am. We talked about a lot of things, mostly trying to recall who I was, what I wore and where I appeared. She told me that she thought it might be that guy. I did not dare to pin too much hope in case that guy in her heart might not be me though her description of that guy fits me well, except the colour of the shirt I am wearing.
We chatted and chatted, I found out many things about her, and I told her a lot about myself too. She was enthusiastic to find out who I was and wanted to meet me in school. I was hesitant at first, afraid that the truth might be harsh. I am afraid to disappoint her if I wasn't the guy she thought of.
We decided to meet up the next morning. I promised to pass her some handwritten notes which I thought might be useful for her upcoming test. In return, she said she has a Nicholas Tse's poster at home. She knew I liked his music and she liked him too. Our first ever thing in common. I stayed up till dawn breaks to finish burning a CD of songs for her. My first ever gift for her.
-={FIRST MEETING}=-
I woke up late that morning as I was so tired and slept only 1 hour the previous night. I hurried to get ready for school, or rather, to meet her. I must have missed the chirping of birds at Commonwealth bus stop that day. I guessed I must had been too nervous as well as excited to notice it. How shall I put it? Am I afraid? Afraid to meet her? Afraid that the guy in her mind wasn't me? The bus came.
I stepped into the school compound, my heart thumping harder and harder as I approach MLT12. We agreed to meet outside that lecture hall. I was late, I wondered if she would still wait outside since her lecture already started.
In the end, I saw her. She must have guessed it was me as she smiled at me when I walked over towards her. Her face was filled with radiance just like a sun glowing. I think I had a dead cow face that morning as I was so tired. We exchanged a few greetings before I passed her the notes and the CD. In return, she gave me the poster. She entered the lecture hall and I went back to my lab to continue working on my final year project after that.
She messaged me soon after. She told me I was the guy she thought, thanked me for the notes and commented that my handwriting was nice. Gee, I was overwhelmed with happiness and thanked her for the poster too. I was very happy that day.
-={FIRST DATE}=-
Days passed, its Saturday again. I dragged myself to work at Takashimaya. I was a sales promoter for ELLE shoes. Although it was Chinese Valentine's day, business was poor that particular weekend. I was bored, I kept thinking about her. Finally, I decided to try to date her out I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing, I thought it might be too fast to ask her out on a date. But I'll just try.
I messaged her to ask whether she would like to have dinner with me that day. I waited anxiously for her reply. She replied a while later, told me she would confirm with me again. I couldn't pin too much hopes on having a date with her. Maybe there were so many other guys after her too. I couldn't do much but wait.
She replied me not long after. She asked me where I would meet her! I couldn't believe the message she sent to me. I felt afraid again. I did not expect such a reply from her. I panicked, not knowing what to do next. I can only be prepared to meet her.
We were to set to meet at Somerset train station at 6:30pm. I hurried to the train station after I finished work. I waited for her to arrive. Its 6:50pm already but still no sight of her. I guessed I was too anxious. Nevertheless, I waited patiently. I couldn't remember whether it's me who called her in the end or she called me. After which, we found out that actually both of us had already arrived long ago. I walked around and finally found her. We sat just opposite of each other! We couldn't see each other because a pillar blocked our views.
We ended up at Marina Sakae Sushi restaurant for dinner. We didn't have to queue for long. We ended up taking the seats near the window though we wished we wouldn't. We chatted, laughed, joked and talk about a lot of things, people and school while eating. She looks so sweet.
She wanted to buy me that dinner but I refused. I settled the bill in the end. Actually I thought that it could be an excuse to ask her out for another date! I could ask her to buy me dinner back! So that's basically the whole idea, tactically planned to perfection.
We walked out of the restaurant and I took her upstairs to the video arcade. I wanted to take a card photo with her for remembrance, but I wasn't sure whether she would approve the idea. I asked and she agreed. We stood together to take the card photo. My first ever card photo taken with her. My first ever time standing so close to her.
I sent her home that night. We walked slowly from the train station to her place. We bade each other goodbye when we reached her place. I began my walk back to the train station. She messaged me and told me that she really enjoyed the day with me while I was walking to the train station. I was delighted. Although it is a long way back home, I didn't mind at all, I was so happy and really enjoyed her company. The first ever time I sent her home.
-={THE HINT}=-
I spend the night talking to her on the phone on 28th August 2001. We chatted a lot, found out more about each other and occasionally popup the issue on love. I made up some funny noise which actually came in words, its just that I made those sound like funny noise so she wouldn't notice, the words were simple, its just "do you like me". She spent the whole night guessing what that was. Though she got it right once, I didn't say much and pretended she didn't get the right answer. But that's a big hint to me. Else she wouldn't say that out maybe. Finally I sent her a message that told her the actual meaning. I couldn't tell you how I felt when I received a message back saying,"So Many Of Us Either Fear Tomorrow Or Regret Yesterday But I Won't Fear Tomorrow If I Get To Be Your Love One Forever And I Don't Regret Yesterday Because One Yesterday I Met You."I slept soundly smiling.
-={THE BIG DAY CAME}=-
I couldn't stop thinking about her. The urge to see her again was very strong. She must be the one I've been waiting for all these years. Though we only met a couple of times and knew each other for no more than a week, it definitely must be her.
It was 29th August 2001, Nicholas Tse's birthday. I decided to ask her out again. I decided to propose to her to be my girlfriend. Don't ask me why. It just had to be on that day, 29th.
The date is on and I was so excited. We met in the evening. I told her about this great Japanese restaurant at China Square. We met at Raffles train station and walked there. Her cherubic smile almost melted me that day. I knew I had an important task to complete and it must be completed no matter how. I knew it would be difficult but I'll try my best.
We ordered some food and ate. I was quiet that day, not like my normal chatty self. I was deep in thoughts trying to figure out how am I going to start asking her. I knew I'm running against time and as long as this goes on, I'll be on the losing side. I just did not know how to ask her.
After dinner, we took a stroll down to Suntec City. Along the way, I told myself I must ask her. That point of time I just went "Er.. Er…" My mouth opened, but no words came out. I just lack the courage. I guessed she must have found it funny.
We entered Suntec City, I was trying all ways to make myself ask her, or maybe I thought some actions would also do the talking. That's precisely why I dragged her into Perlini Silver shop. I wanted to get her a ring. I knew its kind of stupid but I though it might be a good hint and hope she would understand my intentions. I asked her whether that ring was nice. I told her to choose a ring and I'll buy it for her. She asked me the reason which I just murmur some illogical excuses. I was so embarrassed that I quickly pull her out of the shop. Didn't succeed in the action play.
We ended up at marina, outside KFC, beside a small pool fountain to have a drink. I wanted to ask but again, just no words came out of my mouth. I was frustrated with myself. I become very quiet. She asked me why and I just smiled and said nothing.
Its late, I had got to send her back. We stood on the train. I really did wanted to force myself to ask on the train but I just couldn't say it. I'm really frustrated with myself.We reached her train station.
-={THE FINAL APPROACH}=-
The very last chance to say it must be the long walk to her home down the stretch of road. I kept taking deep breaths and when I tried to say it, I go "Err… hey I got something to tell you.." She asked me what I wanted to say and suddenly I lost my guts again. I quickly think of something to say and in the end I said, "Err… your block is that one right?" So embarrassing! I just kept on going "Err… Err…" Argh!
-={THE SWEETEST MOMENT}=-
I was on the brink of failure, I was disappointed with myself but still, my heart urges me on to the last second. I just kept on murmuring to myself. I guessed she knew I really had something to tell her. Finally she said she is reaching home soon and I've better tell her what I wanted to say else I would have no chance left.
I stopped her in her tracks at the bus stop, luckily there weren't anyone there. I muster all my courage and prepared to say it. I didn't say it again. Just so embarrassed!
We continued to walk again, guess she must be feeling annoyed now and impatient. I stopped her again a few meters later at the end of the bus stop. She looked at me, her eyes glowing in the moonlight. This time I really decided to ask her the question which I wanted to ask all night long.
I whispered "Do you like me…" So soft that I couldn't even hear myself. She wanted me to speak louder, so this time round, I spoke a little bit louder. I think she knew what I said but she just pretend she didn't hear it. She ask me to say even louder again. I felt that I was really blushing.
I finally did not let myself down and spoke in a normal tone this time. I think my face looks as red as beetroot. She asked me what do I think, she wanted me to guess the answer. I shrugged and told her I don't know and wanted her to tell me herself.
She nodded and said she liked me. I think I was totally mesmerized by her seductive smile. Before I could think of anything next, she asked me to show my sincerity. I remembered being labeled "Silly" when I told her it was her who didn't want to choose a ring at Perlini Silver. She asked me how then.
I tiled my head and gave her a kiss on her left cheek. I moved my hands slowly towards hers and gently held her hands. The first ever time I held her hands and our love story unfolds…
The End
*Credits to http://www.esparis.net/diary.htm
Posted by 壁虎 at 3:17:00 AM
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